Providing awkward social situations since 1986.
08.06.2016 - 08.06.2016 17 °C
I'm now in Auckland awaiting the start of my bus tour which starts tomorrow morning at 7am, I am not suffering from jetlag as far as I know unless it means that I'm continuously unaware what time it is. It's a small stress, nothing to be late for. I've stopped trying to eat at conventional meal times as transit often gets in the way. Yesterday I had an airplane meal and a packet of crisps, I fulfilled my calorie intake through beer instead.
The welcome talk for the tour meet at a bar in town at 7pm, the bus I got from the airport dropped me near my hostel at about 4.45 so I knew I had to hot foot it. The receptionist at the YMCA (cannot be said without associated chorus playing in background) was adorable but we had a serious language barrier problem, the main issue was she spoke Chinese with a Chinese accent and only briefly spoke English to me when telling me where the laundry room was. Lip reading was pointless, as I neither speak or lip read in Cantonese, and I kind of respected her refusal to speak to me in English. It was only clear she acknowledged my mother tongue when she gave me the hostel rules written in English, there was a lot of smiling and nodding on both sides.
My room was a female dorm room with only 4 beds, I had a 50% chance of getting a much desired bottom bunk. Alas, no. On a lighter note, the lady occupying the bunk below was in her fifties, she'd had a good innings. I waited until she'd left the room before attempting to make up my bed as the rocking was really very substantial and she wouldn't have been able to stay politely silent even if she had the patience of a saint. I also started laughing as I watched the scene from my minds' eye. Better no one witnessed any of it. The hostel is very clean, couldn't be happier and excellent showers, only $32 a night which works out at £16, fantastic! The weather is warm and wet which is an anger inducing combination because you feel clammy, get too hot and sweaty if you wear a waterproof and get soaked anyway if you don't, I opt to wear the waterproof and shower a lot, it's an amphibian existence.
The welcome talk is hosted by Irish Rob, and the bar by an immediately identifiable Plassy Scouser. Seemingly, my life is pre-ordaned to be in constant cahoots with this combination of peoples. It was a small group consisting of a couple of young Bristol natives, girls whose names escape me, and a Sheffielder called Natalie, another coincidence. We all drank and chatted long after the welcome host left us, I fitted right in. I only had to show my bitch card once during the night when an odd native decided to approach us and offer 'guidance' on his home country. He himself was staying in a hostel by the bar and I immediately labelled him a predator, I allowed him 10 minutes of rambling oddity then the girls were relieved when I asked him to leave. I occupy a very unique niche in society, it fits like a glove.
On returning back to the hostel, I was pleasantly surprised that the room light was still on so I didn't need to attempt the bunk climb in the dark. I readied my earplugs and eye mask and made it up my bed with minimal rocking (though still substantial). I do not remember getting my head to the pillow which would account for the fact that my eye mask was still located on my forehead this morning like some weird head warmer, I must have done the classic Selina trick of falling to sleep at warp speed. It's a phenomenon which annoys Lizzie when she tries to close the night out with a bit of gossip but I'm already snoring within seconds of getting into the bed. Equally, I am awake and functional within 30 seconds of stirring, a basis for a super annoying human. Could be useful for this trip though, the bitch card-not so much.